Patch Blog: How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

My company’s recent expansion inspired me to address this topic. No matter how strong your relationship is, the idea of shifting from a local (or cohabitating) partnership to a long distance relationship can be daunting (especially when you live and own a company together!), to say the least.

Take a deep breath – this has been accomplished in the past. Though it might be a challenge, a healthy relationship can endure huge changes and potentially even grow stronger from the experience.

To successfully transition your relationship to become a strong long distance one, it is crucial for it to be a healthy one. When we are dating in adulthood, partnerships are hard enough to manage, without throwing a six-hour flight in the mix. Being understanding of your partner’s decision to move for family or a career offer in another city is essential – don’t take offense to the decision. Instead, understand and work through issues together. 

Make sure resentment or jealousy isn’t a part of the equation, because it will surely lead to the demise of your partnership. A healthy relationship is one where open communication exists without judgment. Consider hiring a relationship therapist to perfect an excellent line of communication with your partner before she/he moves.

It is typical that one person is more “needy” than the other. With that said, your partner might require a little more "love" when distance suddenly becomes a factor. This doesn’t have to be incredibly time consuming or expensive, just make sure to set aside time to speak or Skype to make them feel more at ease and supported.  

Again, little things, like a voicemail saying, "just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you" or a sweet note in the mail goes a long way when you are going weeks without physical interaction.

Advance planning the next time you will see one another will keep the mindset on the right track. For example, have a trip planned before you separate, whether that is visiting the new city your partner is moving to or planning a sexy weekend getaway to spend time to be close. Being alone is going to allow you to show emotion, intimacy, talk about your mindset, and address any issues. Plan this “date” well in advance so you can chat about it prior to the visit.  

Intimacy is incredibly important and will connect you on many levels, so prioritize it (though I doubt we needed to remind you to do this)! Being able to visualize being close physically will allow you and your partner to look forward to your trip, without worry. 

Another note: When you reconnect in your partner’s new city, make sure you meet his/her new friends. Remember that trust is the bond that holds people together, and jealousy will rip your relationship apart.

These tips may sound easy, but be realistic about them. It helps to set goals about the future of your relationship. For example, did you discuss what will happen if your partnership is still healthy after a year of being apart?

Will one of you move? What finances can you allocate for travel, vacations, and spontaneous visits? Where will you spend the holidays? Be honest with your partner about your goals – though these may shift over time, it can be helpful to have direction for your relationship.

Lastly, make the decision to stay together through your “distance challenges” proactively. Specifically, how much time and effort are you really going to put towards your long distance relationship? Though “making it through” a few months or year apart can be incredibly rewarding and an invaluable enhancement to your partnership, it takes a lot of effort. Communicate, trust, and show your love, and your relationship will grow to become stronger than ever.

Email me with questions or for advice at Meghann@mixologydc.com. Check out Mixology on Facebook and Twitter for updates on our expansion! @MegNovinskie @KimRosenbergDC.