is saying “I don’t” to bachelorette parties.
Calling it an offensive heterosexual tradition that flaunts marriage inequality in the face of gays and lesbians, the trendy Boystown bar is now banning bachelorette parties from its premises.
“Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our go-gos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married,” Abbey founder David Cooley said in a press statement.
While bachelorette parties are banned, The Abbey, which has been named the Best Gay Bar in the World by MTV’s Logo, will continue to welcome straight people.
“Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between,” Cooley said. “We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.”
It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes.
The Abbey’s bachelorette ban comes on the heels of a ban on gay marriage in North Carolina.
The Abbey is also encouraging other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.
I think it’s better to make friends with everyone, than to give people more reasons not to like us. That is the lesson I learned from Harvey Milk Day! “Gay brothers and sisters, what are you going to do about it? You must come out. Come out… to your parents… I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out… to your relatives. I know that is hard and will upset them but think of how they will upset you in the voting booth. Come out to your friends… if they indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors… to your fellow workers… to the people who work where you eat and shop… Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade, [Florida] to Eugene, [Oregon]. If Briggs wins he will not stop. They never do. Like all mad people, they are forced to go on, to prove they were right! There will be no safe ‘closet’ for any gay person. So break out of yours today — tear the damn thing down once and for all!” ~~Harvey Milk Make friends with everyone and get more minds on our side!
So David, how about this. Make up little business sized cards for your staff wishing the bride and her friends much happiness and love. And ask them look around at all of the people in the rooom that are being denied the same joy and ask them to drop an e-mail to their representatives telling them that they demand equal rights in marriage for all Americans. That little card will send a powerful message. I live in Iowa and we are Free for now. But we need allies to keep our freedom.
They should be banned, I wholeheartedly agree, but as part of a non-discriminatory policy about groups parties for an organized event (or something other than discriminating against all straight people's right to marry .... Not all straight people are against gay marriage and the amazing majority now favoring marriage equality makes discriminating against people because of their sexual orientation .... this time 'straight women' .... is no better than the discrimination we have been fight to end, and at this moment in time, we have come so much closer than ever before ... and the timing and wording of what should have been a purely business decision has become a political statement of intolerance and WE (the community) are the perpetrators if we don't speak up and say good idea, bad way to deal with such a simple business decision and creating a possible reason for the many, many straight supporters of marriage equality to re-think their own activism if we are going to publicly reject the entire straight community who are getting married.
I'm sympathetic to the issue of "flaunting their heterosexuality" and their for-granted civil rights in our faces; however, what triggered this "new policy" after the fact that there have been bachelorette parties at The Abbey for years. Maybe when they book these events, maybe management can remind them of the "no penis hat" policy. But why not take their money? The money from those expensive drinks can go a long way to buying political clout, which, after all, is how it's done in the U.S.
The desire for slavery is alive and well within the heterosexual community. Perhaps you can force the bar to offer pedicures and manicures while you're at it.
Serious, indeed. Because no longer hosting bachelorette parties - a service offered to heterosexual women by many other businesses - is completely the same as denying an entire group of citizens marriage equality.