In Death, There Is Life

There was a time in my life, in the dregs of my addictions and untreated illness that I thought the eventual death of my mom would offer me a release. I used to believe that when she died I would be free to end my own life or give up completely on living, whatever that meant. So much has changed in the time since my recovery began in 2005 and her death in January of this year, but somewhere in my mind were the remnants of flawed thinking.

There was a moment at the funeral when I experienced what some might call a spiritual awakening. A physical experience where every nerve in my body erupted with sensation and I was overcome with a single thought. It was my mom’s voice in a deep, omnipresent whisper and she spoke a single phrase, “I love you” which emanated through my consciousness like a flash of blinding light. Only, my vision became clear and my awareness acute with a sense of love as her spirit became a part of me. She took the place in my mind where doubt and fear and self-loathing once dominated. Now I see the world through her eyes and I feel so much courage and compassion that it can’t be contained.

After the funeral in Michigan, I returned to Los Angeles with a relentless desire to change and live the wonderful life my mom always wanted for me. As I looked back on a past wrought with challenge and suffering, I saw it in a new way. The failures that overwhelmed my attempts to improve became lessons and I suddenly realized countless resources I’d developed over the years. The people in my life I’d refused to accept for fear of rejection became powerful allies and I turned my efforts towards improving their lives anyway I could.

It’s been five months since I said goodbye to the greatest love of my entire life and I have never felt more alive. We’ve accomplished more in the past five months than the past five years and I have no doubt or fear for our future. Uplift Project’s first fundraiser and launch party was this Thursday, May 19th at www.islacantina.com and it was a huge success! We raised over $900 and contributed a portion of it to sponsor a runner from www.t2ea.com (Team To End AIDS).

We’re so thankful for all those involved from our headquarters at www.elevation-fitness.com and we’re moving at a rapid pace towards outreach projects and community programs. Special thanks to our sponsors from www.body360nutritionals.com, www.colorguardusa.com, www.felonfitness.com, and our friends at www.thefightmag.com

There are no failures where lessons are learned and whatever happens in our life, as long as there is hope, we will grow. Strength comes from the heart! - Jeremy B. Manning

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.