Review: Millions of Milkshakes

Friendly staff, flashing lights and a looping stream of TMZ gossip coverage bombard sweet-toothed diners at this garish Santa Monica Boulevard shake spot. Once your eyes and ears adjust to the in-your-face atmosphere, even the pickiest and diet-restricted dessert hunters should find a flavor combination that suits his or her palate.

You know Millions of Milkshakes because of the clever marketing of owner, Hollywood.tv mastermind and former restaurateur Sheeraz Hassan. He regularly hosts media circus events, where press-hungry stars such as Miley Cyrus, Pamela Anderson and La Toya Jackson are invited to come and mix together their favorite frosted concoctions.  These celebrity recipes then become menu options geared toward attracting tourists and the celebrity-obsessed.

Intrigued by the concept of an oxymoronic "vegan" milkshake, I first sampled the Oreo vegan shake. What I got was a glob of soymilk, ice and cookies, too thick and hardly of shake consistency. Though it satisfied my sweet craving, I found the flavor of soymilk overwhelmed the Oreos.

Next was a vanilla shake featuring my favorite calorie splurge, Reese's Peanut Butter cups. In one word, it was delicious. However, the candy seemed too chunky and was impossible to guide through the wide straw. Also, I would have liked the consistency to be more shake-like.

I noticed Ferrero Rocher on the menu and decided to go with the Million Dollar Shake, consisting of the spherical candies and strawberries. This time the consistency was spot-on and the candy pieces were broken up enough to fit through the straw. Though it was a bit rich to finish an entire cup on my own, I have to say that this combination is now one of my favorites.

Next came the Sheeraz shake, which consists of nutella and banana.  I've never combined these flavors and was pleasantly surprised by how complementary they are. A rich texture more shake-like than the previous samplings, this one is filling and is perfect for splitting with a friend.

Finally, nearing maximum stomach capacity, I embarked on one final shake, the Kim Kardashian, the classic strawberry and banana. This is one of my favorite combinations, and it was quite delicious with the nonfat yogurt. Richer and more filling than a smoothie you'd get at Jamba Juice, health is clearly not the point at a milkshake shop.

Although the ample varieties of flavors and add-ins are appreciated, milkshake purists may be disappointed in the final product. The problem here is that what you get isn't really a milkshake at all. After choosing your ice cream, add-ins and whipped topping, you're left with something closer to what mallrats know as a Blizzard or Mickey D's regulars know as a McFlurry. Not necessarily a bad thing if that's what you're looking for, plus the place carries large boba straws perfect for slurping up chunky pieces. 

Milkshakes cost $3.95 for a small, $4.95 for a medium and $5.95 for a large. All milkshakes include one topping, but you can add additional toppings for 95 cents each. A shake with vegan ice cream will cost you an extra $1.

Millions of Milkshakes serves its purpose as a rowdy neighborhood sweet spot, but unless you live within walking distance or subscribe to celebrity hype, it's not worth fighting traffic to get to.