And They Call the Wind Mariah

It got pretty windy in Southern California this past week. No question about that, but it fascinates me how politicians and newscasters exaggerate with ridiculous terms, the degree of any weather event - especially in this part of the world.

Hizzoner Antonio was quoted as saying "this is a once in a lifetime windstorm with 60 mph winds in West Hollywood." Whose damn lifetime? A lot of people sat in the dark, trees fell, lines broke (and I am tempted to say the monkey got choked and they all went together in a little glass boat - but I won't). But once in a lifetime?

Terror strikes. We rush to the storm cellars. But wait. We don't have storm cellars in Los Angeles. And now there's no lights (what about all those $50 scented candles you had to have? The cable went down, streets were blocked, fear and loathing set in. In Louisiana, they call the wind Katrina and those were some winds. But here?

Personally, my orchid pot tipped over outside, I had to tie my umbrella on the patio down and I watched the lights go on and off a few times. I am in West Hollywood.

Ladies and gents, this is how panic is writ large. Newscasters who put us on "Storm Watch" when we have rain, now they call it a monsoon. South Asians pray for the monsoon. Red flag alerts, which are about fire I gather, but never anywhere you would see them and the tried and true wind advisory.  

I know this sounds cavalier and snide and it is, but what the media and government does is blow away common sense. The only thing that terrifies me is a major earthquake. That is the scare of a lifetime for me.  

I know you can't predict them, so you can't set a media watch and even if you could it would cause a panic. These climate matters are really no different. Weather is part of every lifetime and I will argue that this last bout with the wind was not a "once in a lifetime" event unless you just came out of the eggshell.

I wonder how foolish these folks must feel when these words come out of their mouths and the next day is breezy. Short lifetime huh? I'll better the Mayor and the media don't even know the names for wind and rain and fire; the many show tune lovers of West Hollywood (I amongst them) know all the words. "Once in a lifetime" is from another show.